“But thousands of feet above us, in the gaps in the grey clouds, the complicated miracles of aerial duels began. Above us, bare, helpless and unarmed, men of our time sought reciprocal death with the most refined of instruments. A movement of a finger could cause the destruction of the entire camp, could annihilate thousands of men; while the sum total of all our efforts and exertions would not be sufficient to prolong by one minute the life of even one of us” (Pg 172).
Primo Levi was one of the few people who actually have survived through the selection, brutal treatment from SS officer, the bleak and freezing winter, deceptions among the prisoners, and much more. It seemed like he wasn’t proud of himself at all. He was into glorifying the people that have passed away from this experience because he truly believed that the people that have actually died in the camp are the true eye-witnesses to this horrible disaster. As I thought about it for moment, if I were in that situation, I would have wanted to die than to survive Auschwitz. Maybe because I have such a weak mentality and small-minded, I wouldn’t have managed to live even after I was free from the concentration camp. The memory of the all the small events that occurred during the lives in Auschwitz will come back alive and dance as if it was a painful endless waltz. Perhaps, after all the harsh training in the camp, my mind would have become strong and resilient in any society and in any situation, since there is nothing that is worse than what had happened in Auschwitz. But maybe it doesn’t make a person stronger but weaker, and we can see that through the suicide of Primo Levi. At the end, Primo maybe couldn’t resist the awful memory and accustomed to the aftermath of the whole Holocaust.
2007년 3월 11일 일요일
Journal #16
“To destroy a man is difficult, almost as difficult as to create one: it has not been easy, nor quick, but you Germans have succeeded. Here we are, docile under your gaze; from our side you have nothing more to fear; no acts of violence, no words of defiance, not even a look of judgement” (pg 150).
I cannot even imagine how much the Jews at that time would hate the Germans. Even I, who am completely unrelated to any of the Jews in the concentration camp at that time, was outraged and emotionally moved by their indescribable experience in Auschwitz. I wonder why God would let this unjust destruction to happen to the innocent Jews. The holocaust definitely destroyed the people’s bodies and also their mentalities. But then if we think logically, God cannot always stop the evils and sinful acts in the world. When God created us, He created us with His own image. Thus we were to have a mind, will, and spirit. He created us to have a free-will. If God would want to stop all the evils, He would have to limit our minds and wills so we could only do and think of right things. Then we wouldn’t be created with God’s own image. Recently, in the Bible class, I learned that sin exists because God sometimes uses sin for justice and good deeds. For example, in the Bible, God used the sinful act of Joseph’s brothers to prosper Joseph in the future. Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers and was sold as a slave to Egypt, but later he became second highest officer of Egypt and saved the whole generation of Israelites at that time. Based on this, I assume that God will use this terrible event, Holocaust, for good purposes. We’ll never know His purposes because He is God and we are not.
I cannot even imagine how much the Jews at that time would hate the Germans. Even I, who am completely unrelated to any of the Jews in the concentration camp at that time, was outraged and emotionally moved by their indescribable experience in Auschwitz. I wonder why God would let this unjust destruction to happen to the innocent Jews. The holocaust definitely destroyed the people’s bodies and also their mentalities. But then if we think logically, God cannot always stop the evils and sinful acts in the world. When God created us, He created us with His own image. Thus we were to have a mind, will, and spirit. He created us to have a free-will. If God would want to stop all the evils, He would have to limit our minds and wills so we could only do and think of right things. Then we wouldn’t be created with God’s own image. Recently, in the Bible class, I learned that sin exists because God sometimes uses sin for justice and good deeds. For example, in the Bible, God used the sinful act of Joseph’s brothers to prosper Joseph in the future. Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers and was sold as a slave to Egypt, but later he became second highest officer of Egypt and saved the whole generation of Israelites at that time. Based on this, I assume that God will use this terrible event, Holocaust, for good purposes. We’ll never know His purposes because He is God and we are not.
Journal #15
“This year has gone by so quickly. This time last year I was a free man: an outlaw but free, I had a name and a family, I had an eager and restless mind, an agile and healthy body. I used to think of many, far-away things: of my work, of the end of the war, of good and evil, of the nature of things and of the laws which govern human actions; and also of the mountains, of singing and loving, of music, of poetry. I had an enormous, deep-rooted, foolish faith in the benevolence of fate; to kill and to die seemed extraneous literary things to me. My days were both cheerful and sad, but I regretted them equally, they were all full and positive; the future stood before me as a great treasure. Today the only thing left of the life of those days is what one needs to suffer hunger and cold; I am not even alive enough to know how to kill myself” (Pg 143).
Our future is unpredictable. If we can predict our future, it might be an excellent idea to be God. It is hard to imagine Primo Levi being a man that was loving and loved music, singing, and poetry because in the whole entire book, Primo Levi basically had apathy of everything surrounded him and wasn’t a cheerful man as he used to be. The camp itself has totally changed Primo Levi. German totally destroyed all the passions and joys of Primo Levi. I can’t even imagine that someone or something will avoid me from my passions and joy of my life. Germans even took away the precious time of the people. Time is one of the most valuable things in life because once the time flies by, there is no going back. It is horrible to think about how German has done to the Jews.
Our future is unpredictable. If we can predict our future, it might be an excellent idea to be God. It is hard to imagine Primo Levi being a man that was loving and loved music, singing, and poetry because in the whole entire book, Primo Levi basically had apathy of everything surrounded him and wasn’t a cheerful man as he used to be. The camp itself has totally changed Primo Levi. German totally destroyed all the passions and joys of Primo Levi. I can’t even imagine that someone or something will avoid me from my passions and joy of my life. Germans even took away the precious time of the people. Time is one of the most valuable things in life because once the time flies by, there is no going back. It is horrible to think about how German has done to the Jews.
Journal #14
“We know that tomorrow will be like today: perhaps it will rain a little more or a little less, or perhaps instead of digging soil we will go and unload bricks at the Carbide factory. Or the war might even finish tomorrow, or we might all be killed or transferred to another camp, or one of those great changes might take place which, ever since the Lager has been the Lager, have been infatigably foretold as imminent and certain. But who can seriously think about tomorrow?” (Pg 133)
It is terribly incredible how the camp changed the minds of the people. It not only mentally made the prisoners to be machine-like but also physically. They didn’t care about their lives for tomorrow and they were so indifferent to their future. However I think it is false to say that they did not have any hope or the mentality to survive camp at all. Without that little hope, there wouldn’t have been any survivors in Auschwitz. Although Primo Levi have stated that he didn’t care and didn’t fear the death, and didn’t care if he were to die tomorrow, Primo was being sly and clever to not to waste any unnecessary energy and to strictly go by the survival rule that existed in the Lager. If he really didn’t care for his life, wouldn’t he have just thrown himself to the electric barb wire and die there than to die in the crematorium? I think people have that kind of mentality, but they just don’t realize it.
It is terribly incredible how the camp changed the minds of the people. It not only mentally made the prisoners to be machine-like but also physically. They didn’t care about their lives for tomorrow and they were so indifferent to their future. However I think it is false to say that they did not have any hope or the mentality to survive camp at all. Without that little hope, there wouldn’t have been any survivors in Auschwitz. Although Primo Levi have stated that he didn’t care and didn’t fear the death, and didn’t care if he were to die tomorrow, Primo was being sly and clever to not to waste any unnecessary energy and to strictly go by the survival rule that existed in the Lager. If he really didn’t care for his life, wouldn’t he have just thrown himself to the electric barb wire and die there than to die in the crematorium? I think people have that kind of mentality, but they just don’t realize it.
Journal #13
“Even before the selection is over, everybody knows that the left was effectively the ‘schlechte Seite’, the bad side. There have naturally been some irregularities: Rene, for example, so young and robust, ended on the left; perhaps it was because he has glasses, perhaps because he walks a little stooped like a myope, but more probably because of a simple mistake: Rene passed the commission immediately in front of me and there could have been a mistake with our cards. I think about it, discuss it with Alberto, and we agree that the hypothesis is probable; I do not know what I will think tomorrow and later; today I feel no distinct emotion” (Pg 128).
This unfortunate death of Rene made me to realize how little we are. We, humans, are such a fragile and have no power at all. That simple mistake with the cards has made a man to die in the gas chamber, probably more than just one man. It is funny to see how some of us try so hard to be like god. We cannot even choose our destination and everything about us, including birth and death, are purely based on fate, more accurately on God. For instance Hitler and other dictators, weren’t they trying to be god-like? They desired to have controls over all the people and all the nations, and everything had to follow on their own rules and laws. But as we think about it, we are just little puppets compare to the all might God. I think that is the human nature. I believe that there are three essential human desires which are money, fame, and power. Once, my youth pastor told me that having a power over others is like brandishing a sword and killing others in order to gain benefits. Isn’t that what people do when they want to act like god? Some foolish humans desire to be like god so they could be omnipotent and rule the world in a way that pleases them. That is what had happened to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and this issue will arise continuously since it’s a human nature.
This unfortunate death of Rene made me to realize how little we are. We, humans, are such a fragile and have no power at all. That simple mistake with the cards has made a man to die in the gas chamber, probably more than just one man. It is funny to see how some of us try so hard to be like god. We cannot even choose our destination and everything about us, including birth and death, are purely based on fate, more accurately on God. For instance Hitler and other dictators, weren’t they trying to be god-like? They desired to have controls over all the people and all the nations, and everything had to follow on their own rules and laws. But as we think about it, we are just little puppets compare to the all might God. I think that is the human nature. I believe that there are three essential human desires which are money, fame, and power. Once, my youth pastor told me that having a power over others is like brandishing a sword and killing others in order to gain benefits. Isn’t that what people do when they want to act like god? Some foolish humans desire to be like god so they could be omnipotent and rule the world in a way that pleases them. That is what had happened to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and this issue will arise continuously since it’s a human nature.
Journal #12
“In fact, we are the untouchables to the civilians. They think, more or less explicitly – with all the nuances lying between contempt and commiseration – that as we have been condemned to this life of ours, reduced to our condition, we must be tainted by some mysterious, grave sin. They hear us speak in many different languages, which they do not understand and which sound to them as grotesque as animal noises; they see us reduced to ignoble slavery, without hair, without honour and without names, beaten every day, more abject every day, and they never see in our eyes a light of rebellion, or of peace, or of faith. They know us as thieves and untrustworthy, muddy, ragged and starving, and mistaking the effect for the cause, they judge us worthy of our abasement. Who could tell one of our faces from the other? For them we are ‘Kazett’, a singular neuter word” (Pg 121).
I wonder if all the civilians thought of the Jews as how Primo Levi describes here. I wonder what the thought of German Christians was at that time, as they saw the prisoners in the concentration camp. It is arguable to assume that Hitler used propaganda and other effective ways to literally brainwash the people of Germany, so most German civilians actually treated the Jews as animals and worthless beings. At one moment, I was outraged by the fact that German civilians didn’t try hard and put their effort to help the Jews and oppose to the concentration camps. But then I realized that if I were in that situation, I wouldn’t have courage to do so because I would not want to give up my life because of the Jews. I won’t deny that I’m a self-centered person and that I’m a coward. I wouldn’t have sacrificed my future and my life for what I believed to be true. Maybe the people in Germany also felt that way. I sincerely admire those who sacrifice their lives for others. It requires great courage, which I obviously don’t have.
I wonder if all the civilians thought of the Jews as how Primo Levi describes here. I wonder what the thought of German Christians was at that time, as they saw the prisoners in the concentration camp. It is arguable to assume that Hitler used propaganda and other effective ways to literally brainwash the people of Germany, so most German civilians actually treated the Jews as animals and worthless beings. At one moment, I was outraged by the fact that German civilians didn’t try hard and put their effort to help the Jews and oppose to the concentration camps. But then I realized that if I were in that situation, I wouldn’t have courage to do so because I would not want to give up my life because of the Jews. I won’t deny that I’m a self-centered person and that I’m a coward. I wouldn’t have sacrificed my future and my life for what I believed to be true. Maybe the people in Germany also felt that way. I sincerely admire those who sacrifice their lives for others. It requires great courage, which I obviously don’t have.
Journal #11
“We slowed down. Pikolo was expert. He had chosen the path cleverly so that we would have to make a long detour, walking at least for an hour, without arousing suspicion. We spoke of our houses, of Strasbourg and Turin, of the books we had read, of what we had studied, of our mothers: how all mothers resemble each other! His mother too had scolded him for never knowing how much money he had in his pocket; his mother too would have been amazed if she had known that he had found his feet, that day by day he was finding his feet” (Pg 111).
In this life, it is rare to find a person whom you feel comfortable just by standing next to that person. But Primo Levi found a valuable friend in the concentration camp whom he could rely on and shares his life story before coming to the concentration camp. I think to have a reliable friend is more valuable and precious than even surviving the camp because through that kind of friendship, your view of life can change forever. It is better to die with the experience of that kind of bond and friendship with a person than to live a life without that experience at all. Personally I found two friends whom I can trust do death, and I’m really thankful to have them as my friends.
In this life, it is rare to find a person whom you feel comfortable just by standing next to that person. But Primo Levi found a valuable friend in the concentration camp whom he could rely on and shares his life story before coming to the concentration camp. I think to have a reliable friend is more valuable and precious than even surviving the camp because through that kind of friendship, your view of life can change forever. It is better to die with the experience of that kind of bond and friendship with a person than to live a life without that experience at all. Personally I found two friends whom I can trust do death, and I’m really thankful to have them as my friends.
Journal #10
“I took my degree at Turin in 1941, summa cum laude – and while I say it I have the definite sensation of not being believed, of not even believing it myself; it is enough to look at my dirty hands covered with sores, my convict’s trousers encrusted with mud. Yet I am he, the B. Sc. Of Turin, in fact, at this particular moment it is impossible to doubt my identity with him, as my reservoir of knowledge of organic chemistry, even after so long an inertia, responds at request with unexpected docility. And even more, this sense of lucid elation, this excitement which I feel warm in my veins, I recognize it, it is the fever of examinations, my fever of my examinations, that spontaneous mobilization of all my logical faculties and all my knowledge, which my friends at university so envied me” (Pg 106).
Sometimes I wonder if the education in the high school is worth it. Some adults told me that they only remember about 10% of what they learned in “difficult” courses such as History, Trigonometry, Physics, and more. But we can see from this passage that the knowledge that he obtained in the past actually saved Primo Levi’s life and it helped Primo to have a special privilege. Thus we must have and crave for more knowledge and understanding but there is a counter affect on that. Often time, people with great knowledge becomes boastful and arrogant, and usually disdain others that has “lesser” knowledge than them. This creates a huge issue because I have seen a faithful Christian, who was erudite and brilliant, became aloof from God and started to live for himself because he considered himself “better” than everyone else. He didn’t respect others with any knowledge. He barely listens to other’s opinions since he believed that all his views, thoughts, and morality were the truth and correct. So we should be careful to be humble and glorify God for His mighty help on us to be bright and well-educated.
Journal #9
“They are the typical product of the structure of the German Lager: if one offers a position of privilege to a few individuals in a state of slavery, exacting in exchange the betrayal of a natural solidarity with their comrades, there will certainly be someone who will accept. He will be withdrawn from the common law and will become untouchable; the more power that he is given, the more he will be consequently hateful and hated. When he is given the command of a group of unfortunates, with the right of life or death over them, he will be cruel and tyrannical, because he will understand that if he is not sufficiently so, someone else, judged more suitable, will take over his post” (Pg 91)
I had a stereotypical view on the officers of the concentration camp that all of them were are sinful and I could not understand their behaviors to the Jews in the camp. But as I read this passage, I found out that some of them had to be cruel and brutal to the prisoners because or else, they would lose their “special” privilege and become like the every other prisoner in the camp. This also clearly shows the sinful nature of human beings. Wouldn’t we do anything to survive? For instance, the officers in the concentration camp were basically murdering others in order to save their own lives. If anyone offers a prisoner to either die in a crematorium or be the officer of the camp, who wouldn’t choose the role of the officer, who wouldn’t choose to kill the fragile and pathetic looking Jews over the death in the gas chamber?
I had a stereotypical view on the officers of the concentration camp that all of them were are sinful and I could not understand their behaviors to the Jews in the camp. But as I read this passage, I found out that some of them had to be cruel and brutal to the prisoners because or else, they would lose their “special” privilege and become like the every other prisoner in the camp. This also clearly shows the sinful nature of human beings. Wouldn’t we do anything to survive? For instance, the officers in the concentration camp were basically murdering others in order to save their own lives. If anyone offers a prisoner to either die in a crematorium or be the officer of the camp, who wouldn’t choose the role of the officer, who wouldn’t choose to kill the fragile and pathetic looking Jews over the death in the gas chamber?
Journal #8
“The news had immediate repercussions. All who illegally posseassed second shirts, stolen or organized, or even honestly bought with bread as a protection against the cold or to invest capital in a moment of prosperity, immediately rushed to the Exchange Market, hoping to arrive in time to barter their reserve shirts for food products before the flood of new shirts, or the certainity of their arrival, irreparably devalued the price of the article” (Pg 78)
In the world of Auschwitz, the existence of black market was essential to the prisoners. In our perspective, we see the black market negatively because it is obviously illegal. However, when we place ourselves in the shoes of the Jews in the concentration camp at that time, we would have been devastated if the black market didn’t exist. Would we even have cared if it’s an evil and illegal deed? Probably not. It was the matter of life or death. It seems like when we are at the edge of our lives, at the matter of life or death, we tend to lose our morality and honesty. This clearly shows that we do fear our deaths.
2007년 3월 4일 일요일
Journal #7
“For human nature is such that grief and pain – even simultaneously suffered – do not add up as a whole in our consciousness, but hide, the lesser behind the grater, according to a definite law of perspective. It is providential and is our means of surviving in the camp. And this is the reason why so often in free life one hears it said that man is never content. In fact it is not a question of a human incapacity for a state of absolute happiness, but of an ever-insufficient knowledge of the complex nature of the state of unhappiness; so that the single name of the major cause is given to all its causes, which are composite and set out in an order of urgency. And if the most immediate cause of stress comes to an end, you are grievously amazed to see that another one lies behind; and in reality a whole series of others” (Pg 73).
God created humans to consistently desire and crave for more things, so we are never satisfied with our lives. However, I don’t advocate the idea of man being never content about his life. It is true that there is not an absolute happiness in our lives through earthly objects or actions such as money, power, fame, and more, and also how humans have such a limited knowledge of anything. But humans can have the absolute happiness. In the Bible, it states that the only way we can have the absolute happiness in our lives is by glorifying and worshipping God. Even though I’m a Christian, I’m not content about my life maybe because I’m spiritually a baby Christian and my faith is not strong yet. However my mom, who is an extremely faithful Christian, told me that when God is in our souls, and when we glorify him, we’ll be fully satisfied with our lives. This is logical and makes sense because God is the creator of us, the whole universe. Therefore God created us to gain the unconditional happiness only when we are pleasing Him. If I were the creator, I would certainly do the same thing, making the humans to feel happiness when they are glorifying me. This passage definitely shows the fact that Primo Levi was an atheist. If he was a Christian, he would certainly admit that through God we can get the everlasting satisfaction of our lives.
God created humans to consistently desire and crave for more things, so we are never satisfied with our lives. However, I don’t advocate the idea of man being never content about his life. It is true that there is not an absolute happiness in our lives through earthly objects or actions such as money, power, fame, and more, and also how humans have such a limited knowledge of anything. But humans can have the absolute happiness. In the Bible, it states that the only way we can have the absolute happiness in our lives is by glorifying and worshipping God. Even though I’m a Christian, I’m not content about my life maybe because I’m spiritually a baby Christian and my faith is not strong yet. However my mom, who is an extremely faithful Christian, told me that when God is in our souls, and when we glorify him, we’ll be fully satisfied with our lives. This is logical and makes sense because God is the creator of us, the whole universe. Therefore God created us to gain the unconditional happiness only when we are pleasing Him. If I were the creator, I would certainly do the same thing, making the humans to feel happiness when they are glorifying me. This passage definitely shows the fact that Primo Levi was an atheist. If he was a Christian, he would certainly admit that through God we can get the everlasting satisfaction of our lives.
Journal #6
“He told me his story, and today I have forgotten it, but it was certainly a sorrowful, cruel and moving story; because so are all our stories, hundreds of thousands of stories, all different and all full of a tragic, disturbing necessity. We tell them to each other in the evening, and they take place in Norway, Italy, Algeria, the Ukraine, and are simple and incomprehensible like the stories in the Bible. But are they not themselves stories of a new Bible?” (Pg 65~66)
One of the differences between Christians and atheists is the way of viewing the life and the whole world. Christians believe that there is a purpose from God behind everything in this universe. On the contrary, atheist’s world view is that everything occurred through random chances. Since I’m a Christian, I believe that the holocaust was purposely happened, and this sentence “But are they not themselves stories of a new Bible?” brought me the idea of the purpose of the most tragic event in the history.
To move people emotionally and to change their minds, sacrifices and tragedy are required. For instance, when I heard about the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, how he painfully died on the cross because of our sins, I was emotionally moved and it deeply impacted me. Also Koreans are emotionally moved when they hear about the cruel and brutal treatment of Japanese to Koreans during the era when Korea was a puppet country to Japan. Many Koreans sacrificed themselves to gain independence, and still today, this brings deep impact to Koreans.
Through Holocaust, through the deaths of the millions of innocent Jews, I think God wanted to tell us something. Maybe God wanted us to change our minds and the way we view the world. Or maybe there were lack of incitement in the people, so God thought that Holocaust would move them emotionally and physically to reshape the corrupt world.
One of the differences between Christians and atheists is the way of viewing the life and the whole world. Christians believe that there is a purpose from God behind everything in this universe. On the contrary, atheist’s world view is that everything occurred through random chances. Since I’m a Christian, I believe that the holocaust was purposely happened, and this sentence “But are they not themselves stories of a new Bible?” brought me the idea of the purpose of the most tragic event in the history.
To move people emotionally and to change their minds, sacrifices and tragedy are required. For instance, when I heard about the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, how he painfully died on the cross because of our sins, I was emotionally moved and it deeply impacted me. Also Koreans are emotionally moved when they hear about the cruel and brutal treatment of Japanese to Koreans during the era when Korea was a puppet country to Japan. Many Koreans sacrificed themselves to gain independence, and still today, this brings deep impact to Koreans.
Through Holocaust, through the deaths of the millions of innocent Jews, I think God wanted to tell us something. Maybe God wanted us to change our minds and the way we view the world. Or maybe there were lack of incitement in the people, so God thought that Holocaust would move them emotionally and physically to reshape the corrupt world.
Journal #5
“He fights for his life but still remains everybody’s friend. He ‘knows’ whom to corrupt, whom to avoid, whose compassion to arouse, whom to resist. Yet (and it is for this virtue of his that his memory is still dear and close to me) he himself did not become corrupt. I always saw, and still see in him, the rare figure of the strong yet peace-loving man against whom the weapons of night are blunted” (Pg 57)
In statistics, there is something call a ‘Bell-curve’. A bell curve is a graph that looks like a bell and it shows the average of all kinds of things. For example, on a bell curve of the scores of SAT, the curve is at a highest point in the middle of the SAT score because most people get the average result of the test which is neither too high nor too low, and statistically about 95% get the average score. Yet, there is always an exception. Some people who are above and beyond, and receive extremely high or low scores; they are placed in the beginning of the peak or at the end of the peak on the graph. Since the two groups of extremely high score and low score makes 5%, the group with exceptionally brilliant and get high score will be only 2.5% out of the millions of people who took the SAT. Similarly this idea of bell curve is parallel to the corruptness of the people in Auschwitz at that time.
Before encountering this passage, I only thought EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this concentration camp were hostile to each other and were untrustworthy to other. Because they were so vulnerable, there was lack of trust but full of backstabbing. In fact, their minds were brainwashed to think that they would do anything even betraying their comrades in order to survive in Auschwitz. But only 95% of the people were corrupt, not all of them. There were few exceptions.
Alberto was different and he was one of the 2.5% people out of the whole Jews that were in Auschwitz, who were uncorrupt. Alberto was not deceitful like the rest of the people in that camp. I thought there was no such a thing as friendship in that predicament, but Alberto shattered my idea because he was a friend of everyone and loved by everyone, he created friendships even in that kind of situation. As I read this passage about Alberto, I asked myself ‘if I was in his shoes, would I be able to behave like how he did?’ ‘Would I be friend to everyone and care for others in that situation?’
In statistics, there is something call a ‘Bell-curve’. A bell curve is a graph that looks like a bell and it shows the average of all kinds of things. For example, on a bell curve of the scores of SAT, the curve is at a highest point in the middle of the SAT score because most people get the average result of the test which is neither too high nor too low, and statistically about 95% get the average score. Yet, there is always an exception. Some people who are above and beyond, and receive extremely high or low scores; they are placed in the beginning of the peak or at the end of the peak on the graph. Since the two groups of extremely high score and low score makes 5%, the group with exceptionally brilliant and get high score will be only 2.5% out of the millions of people who took the SAT. Similarly this idea of bell curve is parallel to the corruptness of the people in Auschwitz at that time.Before encountering this passage, I only thought EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this concentration camp were hostile to each other and were untrustworthy to other. Because they were so vulnerable, there was lack of trust but full of backstabbing. In fact, their minds were brainwashed to think that they would do anything even betraying their comrades in order to survive in Auschwitz. But only 95% of the people were corrupt, not all of them. There were few exceptions.
Alberto was different and he was one of the 2.5% people out of the whole Jews that were in Auschwitz, who were uncorrupt. Alberto was not deceitful like the rest of the people in that camp. I thought there was no such a thing as friendship in that predicament, but Alberto shattered my idea because he was a friend of everyone and loved by everyone, he created friendships even in that kind of situation. As I read this passage about Alberto, I asked myself ‘if I was in his shoes, would I be able to behave like how he did?’ ‘Would I be friend to everyone and care for others in that situation?’
Journal #4
“We know where we come from; the memories of the world outside crowd our sleeping and our waking hours, we become aware, with amazement, that we have forgotten nothing, every memory evoked rises in front of us painfully clear” (Pg 55).
Whenever I’m emotionally hurt or discouraged, I tend to focus my mind on a task such as working and studying because when I study hard and focus only on studying, I stop thinking about what had happened. Or sometimes when I’m stressed out, I just go out and run. When I run, all of my worries and anxieties disappear, and I don’t think about anything but force myself to just run. If I don’t do these activities like studying and running, I can’t avoid the emotional pain. This is because when I don’t do anything, I start to muse and reflect on my life and myself. Consequently, I would regret myself and become more melancholy thinking that this emotional suffering won’t fade away that easily. So it is more painful to relax ourselves than to work physically because we think more and deeply about certain things when we are physically resting. Likewise, same thing was happening to Primo Levi when he was enjoying his resting period in Ka-Be. He started to recall everything from the past and began to consider about the reality and life. Primo Levi definitely suffered much more when he was cooling himself down in the infirmary than laboring outside under a bleak weather.
Whenever I’m emotionally hurt or discouraged, I tend to focus my mind on a task such as working and studying because when I study hard and focus only on studying, I stop thinking about what had happened. Or sometimes when I’m stressed out, I just go out and run. When I run, all of my worries and anxieties disappear, and I don’t think about anything but force myself to just run. If I don’t do these activities like studying and running, I can’t avoid the emotional pain. This is because when I don’t do anything, I start to muse and reflect on my life and myself. Consequently, I would regret myself and become more melancholy thinking that this emotional suffering won’t fade away that easily. So it is more painful to relax ourselves than to work physically because we think more and deeply about certain things when we are physically resting. Likewise, same thing was happening to Primo Levi when he was enjoying his resting period in Ka-Be. He started to recall everything from the past and began to consider about the reality and life. Primo Levi definitely suffered much more when he was cooling himself down in the infirmary than laboring outside under a bleak weather.
2007년 2월 25일 일요일
Journal #3
“Why should I wash? Would I be better off than I am? Would I please someone more? Would I live a day, an hour longer? I would probably live a shorter time, because to wash is an effort, a waste of energy and warmth. Does not Steinlauf know that after half an hour with the coal sacks every difference between him and me will have disappeared? The more I think about it, the
more washing one’s face in our condition seems a stupid feat, even frivolous: a mechanical habit, or worse, a dismal repetition of an extinct rite. We will all die, we are all about to die: if they give me ten minutes between the revile and work, I want to dedicate them to something else, to draw into myself, to weigh up things, or merely to look at the sky and think that I am looking at it perhaps for the last time; or even to let myself live, to indulge myself in the luxury of an idle moment” (Pg 40).As I was reading this passage, I pondered for few minutes. We all die soon or later, and no one knows when he will die. Our deaths could be waiting for us in next day or even next hour. Then does that mean that we should not work and live up to our full potential and ability? When we consider this idea, we do not see the purpose of life. We might ask ourselves ‘why are we living and working or studying so hard anyway? We should be better off by being hedonists, enjoying all the pleasures in this life on earth’. I think that is the difference between non-Christians and Christians. Christians believe that the purpose of our lives is to live according to God, who said that we should show the unconditional love of God to others. To fulfill that purpose, it requires effort and the belief of eternal life. People, who do not believe in eternal life that is waiting ahead of us, will view their life as a joke and a waste of energy and time because they do not see how our life on earth will depend our future destination to either heaven or hell. Therefore we should live every day with our full potential and ability and according to what God tell us to do.
Journal #2
“Imagine now a man who is deprived of everyone he loves, and at the same time of his house, his habits, his clothes, in short, of everything he possesses: he will be a hollow man, reduced to suffering and needs, forgetful of dignity and restraint, for he who loses all often easily loses himself. He will be a man whose life or death can be lightly decided with no sense of human affinity, in the most fortunate of cases, on the basis of a pure judgment of utility. It is in this way that one can understand the double sense of the term ‘extermination camp’, and it is now clear what we seek to express with the phrase: ‘to lie on the bottom’. ” (Pg 27)
The phrase ‘to lie on the bottom’ simply means to be in Hell. The environment of Auschwitz was the worst human condition that can possibly exist. Primo Levi describes the condition as “We had reached the bottom. It is not possible to sink lower than this” (Pg 26). It completely violated the rudimentary and fundamental rights of human beings by implementing amoral actions such as removing the individual’s name and replacing it as numbers, taking away clothes, shoes, hair, and even one’s life. When one loses everything, his life becomes miserable and don’t see the purpose of life. Then he become less dignified, restraint and resilient, and basically give up his life. Thus the Jewish ‘haftlings’ in Auschwitz were like puppets. They had no choice or option whatsoever. They either worked or died. They were living in Hell.
Journal #1
“Next to me, crushed against me for the whole journey, there had been a woman. We had known each other for many years, and the misfortune had struck us together, but we knew little of each other. Now, in the hour of decision, we said to each other things that are never said among the living. We said farewell and it was short; everybody said farewell to life through his neighbour. We had no more fear.” (Pg 19)
I remember when I cried for the first time to say farewell to my friends. Even though I knew that I would certainly meet them again someday, my tears kept on falling because of the fact that I won’t be seeing them for the next few years. Yet what if I was never going to see them again? There won’t be any mourning because I would be awestricken since it would be the final and last time of seeing my friends in this life. I can’t still imagine the situation of ‘what if I was there in Auschwitz concentration camp’. But if I really was in that predicament, I would have feared nothing as well because there would be nothing to lose. I would have lost everything including family, friends, and all of my possessions anyway. Although death is what I fear the most, I won’t even fear death because I won’t see the point of living when everything in my life has been perished. Thus I would prefer to give up my life on this earth and dwell in Heaven with serenity and happiness in my soul.
I remember when I cried for the first time to say farewell to my friends. Even though I knew that I would certainly meet them again someday, my tears kept on falling because of the fact that I won’t be seeing them for the next few years. Yet what if I was never going to see them again? There won’t be any mourning because I would be awestricken since it would be the final and last time of seeing my friends in this life. I can’t still imagine the situation of ‘what if I was there in Auschwitz concentration camp’. But if I really was in that predicament, I would have feared nothing as well because there would be nothing to lose. I would have lost everything including family, friends, and all of my possessions anyway. Although death is what I fear the most, I won’t even fear death because I won’t see the point of living when everything in my life has been perished. Thus I would prefer to give up my life on this earth and dwell in Heaven with serenity and happiness in my soul.
2007년 2월 13일 화요일
Journal #0
Even though I heard about the Holocaust and what Jews faced during their lives in the death camps in Germany numerous times, this video was far more incredible and I was able to vividly imagine the surroundings of the horrible concentration camp. One of the things that shocked me was the hypnotized minds of the Jews. The camp has made the Jews to have the fixed idea of “You do me a favor, THEN I’ll do your favor”. The Jews became self-centered and strived for anything even betraying their own mates in order to survive. Everything that was happening in the camp was “matter of life or death”. There were many back-stabbing among the Jews and consequently, there were lackh of trust and reliance to each other. Deception and dirty ruse were the parts of their daily lives.In the video, when the reporters interviewed the SS and German officers that are alive today about how they felt during the Holocaust, I was outraged and couldn’t suppress my anger. The SS said that they did felt little-bit of guiltiness, but they believed that it was right thing to do and still don’t regret about their amoral actions which happened to kill nearly millions of innocent human beings. One of the SS officers said that there was only one thing that he regretted and it was the lack of time that he spent with his family. I thought they all were completely insane or brainwashed since they did not have any consciousness and morality. I was angry at the fact that those SS were still alive and didn’t have to face the consequences of what they did. Among the total of 7000 German SS that tortured and murdered the innocent Jews, only about 800 of them were sued and executed. Thus 90% of SS were never caught and never executed. Even though I’m not a Jew and none of my ancestors were in that horrible predicament during the World War II, I was outraged extremely. Then how would the Jews think? Their ancestors definitely have died or injured greatly from the Holocaust. They might mourn to God about this unjust crisis. I believe that there is a purpose by God behind everything that happens in this universe. I wonder the purpose of this massive genocide of the Jews. This question will absolutely be the first question that I’m going to ask when I meet Jesus.
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